Aligning the inner me with the outer me

As a coach I’ve termed this congruence

    Almost a year ago. I had one of many hit the wall self-reflection experiences.  Flying past a mirror of mine on my way to my home office, I was forced to take notice of myself on a very personal level.  The blurred image of myself that I saw in the mirror was extremely difficult, almost disturbing for me to look at.  It wasn’t a weight issue.  It was a congruence issue.  At this point, I would normally insert a definition or quote from some outside source to make sure my presentation was properly supported.

The blurred image of myself that I saw in the mirror was extremely difficult, almost disturbing for me to look at. 

    This time,  I’m going to take a go at it and offer an explanation drawn from what I felt at the time combined with a little rearview mirror wisdom.  The thing that bothered me about the image of myself that I saw was that the person I felt myself to be on the inside was not the person I was projecting.  Inwardly, I thought myself to be a sharply dressed, clean cut professional that embodied experience and maturity.  Unfortunately, the person I saw in the mirror was a fumbling, stumbling unorganized, fly by the seat of my pants, overwhelmed business owner with each of his finger tips plugged into a hole of the damn wall I called my life trying desperately to stop it from breaking.  Looking square in the mirror at myself was like looking through the window of a nursing home.  I saw the ghost of the future me and it frightening.  I was disappointed in the me I had become on the outside.  The me I was projecting.  I was able to get to my office and join the virtual meeting I was scheduled to have. And on time.

Inwardly, I thought myself to be a sharply dressed, clean cut professional that embodied experience and maturity.  Unfortunately, the person I saw in the mirror was a fumbling, stumbling, unorganized, fly by the seat of my pants, overwhelmed business owner with each of his finger tips plugged into a hole of the damn wall I called my life…

    Immediately after the meeting I started a process of aligning the outer me with the inner me and that alignment is what I call congruence. It is important to note that the basis for my actions, the core me was solid, stable, firmly planted or at least I felt that way.  I felt like that was a plus.  I felt like I just had to work on having a more consistent representation of my overall well-being.  And so, I made a few key adjustments in short order.  The outer me was frumpy.  I needed a haircut and a shave!  I needed a daily attire upgrade.  I needed to free myself from this dependence I had developed on sweatpants and long sleeve tees as my daily uniform.

Immediately after the meeting I started a process of aligning the outer me with the inner me and that alignment is what I call congruence.

    I needed to present as if I was going into the office each day because in-fact, I was!  I was going into my home office and was going to be engaged in virtual exchanges with other professionals all day long, day in and day out.  I needed to be responsible enough to look the part and  to play the role I was expected to play!  So I donned an upgraded look.  Most importantly, I developed a brand-new routine.  One that ensured the intended outcome.  One that allowed me the time I needed to incorporate those much-needed upgrades and finishing touches I wanted to see.

So I dawned an upgraded look.  Most importantly, I developed a brand-new routine.  One that ensured the intended outcome. 

Thankfully, the alignment didn’t take as long as I thought it would. Before I knew it, I had a whole attitude, a new look, a new perspective and enthusiasm.  It took about a month but the time, energy & effort we well worth the investment.  My outer me matched my inner me and I was and still am excited that congruence is evident in my life on every level.  I continue to make investments in myself on a regular basis.  I continue to calibrate.  Why?  Because the return on investment is huge and most importantly it matters because I matter.  My health and wellbeing and image is my responsibility!  Mine and mine alone.

Thankfully, the alignment didn’t take as long as I thought it would. Before I knew it, I had a whole attitude, a new look, a new prospective and enthusiasm. 

For more information on this topic or on any other coaching related topic  use the contact information below to contact us today and/or to make an appointment.  Don’t forget to ask about our free 20-minute consultations.  Hope to hear from you soon.

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James W. Falcon is a Certified Master Life Coach and holds certifications in 15 different areas.  He is also the founder & principal life coach of a New Horizon Life Coaching Products & Virtual Services a 5-Star coaching practice that provides coaching support life, relationships, business and career related goal pursuits.  The practice is a subsidiary of his helps network, Encouragement Is Key, 2022.

Contact info:

James W. Falcon, MSOL, CLSSBB

email: Encouragementbydesign2020@gmail.com

Website: https://wp.me/P8RK91-2

Phone: 855.962.6324

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